don't EMBARRASS ME please!

My dad had so many complexities to his personality.  If he was happy, he certainly wasn't drinking.  But sometimes, if he was stern, he wasn't drinking either.  When dad was drinking he was always belligerent, and insulting, and ridiculing, and nasty, could be very nasty or potty-mouthed.   But with his many moods, he could be just cold-hearted with his words, even when sober. 
One day in a seemingly happy mood, he took his four children to the zoo.  We didn't care where  we went with our dad.  The stinkin' country was so boring ...nothing to do there.  And dad worked out of town a lot, for various reasons.  I'll eventually get into all the reasons why that was the case.  So, being with dad was a treat for us.  Mom used to say that he was no more than like a visiting uncle, who'd take us places and buy us things (cheap things, very cheap things) and have fun with us.  He hated disciplining us, because he saw us so rarely.
So there we were, at the zoo!  Now it wasn't very expensive to get into the zoo, not back then...a dime a piece.  Dad could handle that, as it didn't dip into his personal funds all that much.  Well, I mentioned in passing that, I had some fears and phobias.  One of those was my fear of going blind....and there's a very good reason for me fearing that malady, too.  But, that's another story, for another day.
Now that zoo park had the entrance right at the bottom of a very steep hill.  Well, unknown to my dad, I had challenged myself to keep my eyes closed all the way up to the top of that long, steep hill...just to see what it was like to walk as a blind person.  I thought I was being really courageous to do that, since I had that certain fear, you know. 
Dad didn't think so.  As we ascended that hill, I had strayed from my family, because it's very difficult to go straight when blind, and so, I was way behind them and to the right of them as well..  They had climbed that hill, and was watching the antics of a massive gorilla in the first outdoor observation cage.  I heard everyone laughing and  screaming.   But, I was determined to meet my goal and 'not' open my eyes, not until I felt the ground  beneath my feet level-out.  That's one thing about a hill, you can tell that you are walking at an incline even with your eyes closed.
Well, unknown to me was that, that creepy gorilla was doing his job, and was investigating it as he did so, by placing his hand on his behind.  My dad turned to see where his little girl was, just as that gorilla decided to throw his job out towards the zoo visitors!   
And then and there, with all those other people around us, dad screamed at me. "Why are you being so stupid and walking with your eyes closed?  Sara Jane! ...Look out !"
No really, he only screamed out that, I should look-out for what was coming my way.  But his tone of voice came through loud and clear, and that's what 'I' heard.   That's what I thought the other people heard too, that tone in his voice.   Dad did pull me over and ask why I was walking with my eyes closed, saying that it was stupid thing to be doing.  But, how could I know that gorilla poop was going to miss me by only a mere inch!
There I was proud as could be at my accomplishment, and it was not at all received well by my dad...the one person I so wanted to please.  And that's a memory of yet another story of mine.  Enough for today, or these other stories will go on and on...see